In coming up with a new life-long committment to eating healthier, I have done a lot of introspection into my childhood. Understanding that bigger picture has helped me deal with the changes I am making. A big part of the whole process deals with "attitude". I will get to an explanation of that after I go through some basics of my childhood.
When I think back to Lil' Amy during my days in elementary school, I remember that I was always the tallest child. We often had our class pictures taken based on each person's height, and I am often at the top of the picture. 2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th and 6th grades, I was usually the tallest in the group. I think I reached my current height of 5'2" in Jr. High. I started wearing a bra in 3rd grade. I didn't notice any of my classmates wearing bras then! I started having regular monthly periods in 4th grade. I didn't notice any of my classmates having to deal with that yet! By 5th and 6th grade, I was as tall as my teachers. Most of my classmates, even the boys, were shorter than I was. I'm not exactly sure what effect this had on me, but I think I felt "superior" in some ways to my classmates. I was "The Big Girl". At that time, I wasn't really "fat", but I was bigger overall, and maybe a bit chubbier than the other kids my age.
I was an only child at home. We moved twice to completely new communities - once, from a suburb of Dayton to Lima during the summer between 1st and 2nd grade, and again from Lima to Milan during the summer between 10th and 11th grade. Those two times were big changes for me. I lost friends during each move, and I felt lonely until I was able to get involved with new people. During those times of loneliness with no friends or siblings to do things with, I spent a lot of time sitting in front of the TV..... snacking. At my house, we always had snack food: cookies, chips, candy, crackers, ice cream, cakes and pies. I always had the freedom to eat what I wanted to eat, and I don't remember ever being told not to. Yes, I was "bigger", but I was getting taller, so maybe that balanced out in my mother's eyes? Maybe my mother allowed me to eat what I wanted because she thought it would help me deal with my loneliness? Looking back on it now, I think the food world of the '60s and '70s was very different than it is now. Newer, tastier snacks just kept appearing on grocery shelves! Why not buy them and enjoy them?
Looking back now, I also think about meals that were a big part of my life. My mother and both of my grandmothers were great cooks. They each prepared a lot of food, and in retrospect, it wasn't what we would call "healthy" today. My mother did a lot of frying. She put sugar on veggies and fruits. (Do we really need sugar on a bowl of strawberries, now?) Salads were loaded with a lot of dressings. We always had pies or cakes or ice cream for dessert - every night! We always had enough food to have seconds. To me, all of what Mom made was "delicious", "tasty", "filling". Now, I know it wasn't "nutritious". Our meals were dominated by some sort of meat: Steak, Chicken, Pork Chops, Ham. The secondary item was usually a type of potato or noodle, and veggies were a small part of the meal.
I think Mom did most of her cooking to please Dad. Dad's mother was also a fabulous cook, and he had grown up with that. Grandma T. also did a lot of frying and baking. She used a lot of heavy grease in her foods, and she also found ways to add sugar to almost everything. Everytime I ate at Grandma's house, I was given a huge amount of fried foods that now are a huge turn-off. And, "Grandma's noodles" - OH MY GOODNESS - they were sooooo delicious! Now, the very thought makes my stomach turn..... They were cooked in lard!! (If you don't know what lard is, I give you permission to look it up!) Just imagine frying heavily breaded chicken in bacon grease! Grandma was also known for her fruit pies..... very thick and heavy crusts, and a TON of sugar in and on the pie.
All of that fried and sugary food is what I grew up with - seasoned with all the "snacks" that I ate. As I look back on it now, I believe that eating all of that made me an addict with an addiction to fats and sugars ... particularly CHOCOLATE! Yes, I now know I am a "chocoholic".
As an adult, I kept eating what I was raised eating. During the '80s and into the '90s, I kept up with fried chicken and mashed potatoes. I kept up with burgers and french fries. I ate processed foods like hotdogs, and a lot of ice cream and cookies. Always cookies.... and candy.... always chocolate cookies and candy. Chocolate chip cookies and M&M's........... Always.
I deserved all of that..... right? I was "entitled"..... right?
When I was in college I hit 200#. After college, I kept going up and up.... eventually getting to the 280# range in the late '90s and early 2000s. I got myself down to the 260s about 17-20 years ago, but there I was..... I was still 5'2" tall..... and was now "fat". Eventually, both knees gave out, and I had replacements in 2013 and 2018. I developed thyroid issues and started meds for that. I developed Sleep Apnea issues and started using a CPAP machine in 2000.
As you know - I tried the Weight Watchers approach. That didn't work..... and now I have a new plan - A Lifelong Goal. This time I will be healthier and happier and live longer! As of today, I am down to 226#. I will continue work on losing weight.
The 2nd part of my Big Picture is to focus on FITNESS! Stay tuned, and I will go into that next....
I hope you enjoy a healthy, nutritious meal today!
Hugs,
😎 Amy
Very interesting! Thanks for sharing. :-)
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